


#GettingHimBack

by youngliam (EmmaHaldan)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abduction, Anger, Angst, Depression, Kidnapped, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Sad, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 18:56:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaHaldan/pseuds/youngliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam goes missing, and Zayn wants him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#GettingHimBack

When Liam goes missing, it’s late October; a rainy, dark and cold evening. It’s at a radio interview, where he doesn’t show up, that Louis admits Liam hasn’t been answering him all day, and Niall finds it weird that he doesn’t pick up his phone. And Zayn leaves the room and so does Harry and Louis and Niall and Paul, and the poor radio host is left behind with thousands of girls waiting for One Direction. And Zayn calls Liam, and when he doesn’t pick up, he calls him again, and again, and again. And Harry calls Danielle, because even though they’re not together, he wants to know, if he’s with her. And Louis calls Liam’s mom, and he closes his eyes, when Karen’s voice starts to tremble. And Niall calls Andy and Andy calls Maz, and at the end, Paul calls the police and he calls their management. And Zayn keeps calling; he calls Liam’s cellphone, his landline and his American number. He calls and he doesn’t talk. And the boys are lead to the car, and in the car Zayn keeps calling, and Harry calls his mom, and Anne calls the other boys’ moms. And Niall is pale, but Niall is brave because he sees how Zayn is almost losing it, so he takes Zayn’s free hand, and Zayn squeezes Niall’s hand so tight, that his fingers turn white. And when they walk from the car towards the office building, a paparazzo yells a bit louder than the rest, “Where’s Liam.? Liam Payne?” And Zayn walks a bit faster, frightened by the fact that he doesn’t know the answer. And inside there are a lot of police and they talk and they ask and they want answers. Answers that Zayn can’t give them, but he tries anyway and he’s utterly disgusted by their calm appearance, because Liam is fucking missing and there’s nothing to be calm about. But Zayn doesn’t say anything, because Niall whispers to him, with a shaky voice, that ‘they’re doing their best’ and that ‘they’re professional’. Instead, whenever they’re not asking him questions, he calls Liam, and he calls again and again, but Liam doesn’t answer and it’s freaking Zayn out. And Liam’s mom is with them and she’s crying and the rest of his family is on their way. And the boys all hug Karen and Harry tells her it’s going to be okay and Niall tells her to call them if anything comes up and Louis kisses her cheek and tells her they’re doing their best. But Zayn doesn’t say anything, because what can he actually say? And it’s Karen who pulls him in for a hug, and says ‘thank you’ and she’s still sobbing, but she’s a strong lady indeed, and Zayn really realizes that, when Karen pulls away and walks determined towards the police officers. And out on the hallway, his mom wraps her arms around Zayn, and she’s got tears in her eyes, and she’s moving her fingers in comforting circles on his back while she keeps telling him, that Liam will come back, and really Zayn just wants his mom to leave. And as always, Niall notices Zayn, and he pulls away from his mom, kisses her cheek and walks over to Zayn and he says “Trisha I think me and the lads needs to talk for a bit. Me mom’s waiting for you right over there.” He points, and Trisha nods and she and Maura hugs each other, while Niall motions for Louis and Harry to join them, and he guides them to a couch and Zayn and Harry sits down, but Louis stays stood, and Niall starts pacing the floor; back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Zayn can feel Harry’s arm around him, but he doesn’t respond, and that’s response enough for Harry. And Louis wants to speak to comfort and soothe the other boys, but Louis’ just as terrified as they are and he can’t get no words to come out. When Anne joins them, she’s got tears in her eyes, and her voice is breaking and she tells them what the police officer has just told them; that Liam has either run away on his own, or been kidnapped, and Zayn can’t take it, he won’t take it and he gets up and leave, and someone is walking besides him and he doesn’t care who it is, and it’s only in the car, that he realizes it’s Louis, still holding on to his shoulder. Zayn doesn’t sleep at all, he’s not tired; Louis is exhausted, but he doesn’t sleep either, he stays put next to Zayn all night long, occasionally making both of them a cup of tea, to keep them warm, he tells himself, but really Louis just needs to feel like he’s doing something.

 

When Liam’s been missing for one day, the police and the boys’ management starts to discuss when, and how to tell the fans; because having 9 million dedicated fans looking for Liam could be both bad and good. And the police don’t want them to announce anything, because if Liam’s been kidnapped, the kidnapper probably wants money for him, and it’s best to keep those things in private. And when Liam’s been missing one day, Zayn snaps at the police officer for saying ‘if’ because Zayn knows that Liam would never run away by himself, and Zayn wants them to find him, he wants them to find Liam now, and Paul escorts him out of the room, and sits him down on chair and tries to talk to Zayn, but Zayn is just staring into nothingness. And Zayn sits there most of the day, and people come and go and he doesn’t care because they aren’t Liam, and Zayn wants Liam. And at 7.55pm he’s being guided to a room, and sat next to the other boys, and the police officer tells them - again - what to say, and how to say it, because they’ve realized what they’re dealing with, and they need to go on television. And they’re on BBC news, Zayn doesn’t want to be there, and the host explains the situation, because the boys are too messed up to do so, and Zayn notices their eyes are red and swollen and he fears how Liam’s looking and Louis starts talking in a low broken voice; “We just really want Liam back, we and his family and friends are extremely worried for him so if you.. -“ and Harry takes over, because Louis is crying, “If you know anything please, please contact the police. Liam if you’re watching this, we love you and we want you to come home. Please.” Harry’s lips are trembling and Louis’ hand is on his thigh. “We - “ Niall starts, “W-we are willing to do whatever it takes, to get Liam back. P-please help us, spread the word.” And they look at Zayn, who looks at the table, not going to say a word, and then they’re off-air, and Harry, Louis and Niall breaks down crying, and Zayn wants to do the same, but instead he leaves the room.

 

When Liam’s been missing two days, the Top Trends Worldwide on Twitter, is all about him.

#FindLiamPayne  
1DStayStrong  
Liam James Payne  
Liam Payne  
#WeLoveLiam  
DirectionersWillBringLiamBack  
BringHomeLiamJamesPayne  
#GettingHimBack  
Searching for Liam  
#MissingLiam

 

When Liam’s been missing for three days, he’s on every milk carton, every front-page and every TV-show. The four other boys, are moved to live in a house together, to reduce the stress and to make sure they’re not alone. Paul and Preston moves into a guesthouse, and they hire two or three or four other security guards, Zayn’s not sure and he doesn’t really care. And Maz and Andy are using twitter, and Liam’s family is on TV and the boys are asked to do interviews all the time, and Zayn doesn’t want to talk about it. And the police arrange rescue and search teams out of volunteers, who searches for Liam day and night, and the boys want to be a part of it, but they aren’t allowed to. And the last time Liam was seen, was outside his apartment, the night before the radio interview, and Zayn won’t admit to himself that Liam’s missing, because he can’t stand to think about Liam being alone and scared to death, so Zayn tries to pretend, that Liam isn’t gone.

 

When Liam’s been missing for thirteen days, Harry runs up the stairs, scared as hell, as he reaches the door to Zayn’s room, and as he enters, he yells for the other boys to come help him, because the bedroom is completely totaled, and Zayn is smashing a mirror with his hands, and he’s screaming and he’s crying and he can’t fucking breathe. And he flings the bedside lamp against the wall, his hands are bleeding, and Harry approaches him with long steps, and open arms, but Zayn growls and hits Harry in the jaw. But Harry is strong, and he pushes Zayn against the wall, and talks for him, because Zayn has lost his words. “You didn’t mean to do that.” Harry says, and he’s right, because Zayn doesn’t want to hurt anyone but himself, and then he thinks of Liam again, and he frees himself from Harry’s grip, as Niall and Louis enters the room. Zayn is pulling down the curtains, and he kicks at a wardrobe door, until it gives in, and he throws all the clothes on the floor, and he starts slamming his fist against a window over and over again, and he’s bleeding but it doesn’t matter. And it takes Niall, Harry and Louis all their strength to force Zayn down on the floor, and hold him still, because he keeps fighting like an animal, and he’s screaming; screaming from agony and screaming for Liam to come back. And Niall is sitting on his legs, Harry is sitting behind his back, arms wrapped around his torso and Louis is holding his arms still. And at some point that 13th day, Zayn goes limp, and starts crying, and Louis, Niall and Harry are crying too, because it feels like they’re losing Zayn as well as Liam, and they do their very best, to hold him together.

 

When Liam’s been missing for fourteen days, Harry admits to Louis and Niall that he thinks Zayn is in love with Liam.

 

When Liam’s been missing for a month, it’s November 23th, and Zayn is calling his phone. He’s sleep deprived and frantic and he’s hurt and vulnerable and frightened, and constantly dialing Liam’s number. He’s pacing the floor in the office, where the rest of Liam’s family and close friends are going to meet up. He’s pacing the floor, and calling Liam, but Liam doesn’t answer, and it’s pissing Zayn off. And then Andy comes in, and he looks at Zayn with tired and angry eyes. “He’s not going to answer, why don’t you get that.” He says, and Zayn can feel fire in his stomach and thunder in his head, and Andy is drumming his fingers against the table, and Zayn is pacing the floor and calling Liam. When Liam’s been missing for a month, two of his best friends get into a fight. And Andy gets up from his chair, and slams Zayn against the wall, and he punches Zayn in the stomach, because Andy is worried sick as well. And Zayn loses his breath, but he wants Andy to hit him again, so he starts hitting back, and soon they’re on the ground hitting other over and over again, because it feels right - not only to hit, but it feels right to be hit as well. And Maz enters the room, and tries to stop them, but Andy yells at him, to mind his own business, as he punches Zayn right in the eye. And they can’t stop, won’t stop; they need it out of their systems, and when Andy starts crying, Zayn hisses at him. “Fuck you. Keep fighting, you loser.” And Andy smashes Zayn’s head so hard against the floor that Zayn sees stars, but he keeps teasing the other boy, slapping him in the face. “C’mon you dick, hit me!” He yells, and tears is still streaming down Andy’s face, but he isn’t sobbing or anything, and Zayn realizes he’s crying himself. And Andy starts to give in, so Zayn turns them over and starts hitting Andy. It doesn’t feel right anymore, so he punches even harder, and Danielle enters the room, and she screams at them to stop, but Andy is more or less unconscious and Zayn can’t hear her, he’s too far gone. And Simon Cowell enters the room, and he’s calm and collected, as he walks over, and tells Zayn to stop, and Zayn does stop, and he gets up, and follows Simon out of the room, and Danielle and Maz, kneels next to Andy. And Simon sits Zayn down on a chair, and he looks him in the eyes and he asks him. “What will it help Liam that you beat up his mate? It won’t, right? Zayn I’m trying to help you here. You’ve got to pull yourself together, and behave. Okay? I’m right here for you, every step of the way, and we’re doing our best - “  
“WELL THAT OBVIOUSLY ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH, NOW IS IT?” Zayn roared with trembling lips and hurt eyes.

 

When Liam’s been missing for forty-two days, the police come bearing bad news. They don’t think the kidnapper is interested in money, and Zayn wants to hurt someone, because the police needs to bring back Liam. And the police say sorry, and that they’re not sure they’re going to find Liam alive and Zayn leaves the room. Harry finds him, hiding in an empty room, and Harry doesn’t speak to him, because Harry too, has lost his words, he just gets Zayn home, and makes him take a shower, even though that seems as irrelevant for Zayn, as anything. And that night they do a twitcam, and there are more than 300.000 viewers, and Louis begs them to keep looking for Liam, and they doesn’t tell their fans, what the police has said, because they won’t believe it themselves, and Niall starts crying and he doesn’t even try to hide it and Zayn is doodling on his legs and his arms, and he glances at the screen, and #GettingHimBack is still trending, and that awes him and he writes it on his left arm, hash-tag and all. And the fans keep trying to get him to say something, because he hasn’t talked to them for over a month, and he bites his lips for a second, before he rises from the ground, leans towards the webcam “I’m getting him back.” He says, and walks towards the door. He pulls on a coat, and in a matter of seconds the three other lads are with him. They spend the rest of the night, walking around parks, fields and forests without any luck, only gaining a very pissed off Paul.

When Liam’s been missing for forty-five days, Zayn feels helpless and unneeded.

 

When Liam’s been missing for forty-seven days, Zayn realizes that he is in love with Liam, and wants to spend a lifetime with him.

When Liam’s been missing for fifty days, Zayn is woken up, by a phone call telling him and the lads, to meet at the police station as fast as possible, and his entire body tenses up and he feels like throwing up and he can’t think. And Louis takes over, getting all of them ready in five minutes, leading all of them out to Paul and the waiting car. And they get to the station, and Karen and Geoff and Ruth and Nicole is all there, and they’re looking tired and worn out and Zayn has to walk straight past them, not to break down. And some woman leads the four boys into room, and she explains that they’ve found some evidence, and they want them to identify it as Liam’s, and Zayn is dizzy and can’t really breathe, and Niall helps him sit down, and he asks him, if he’s going to be alright, or if he wants to leave the room, and Zayn shakes his head, because no he’s not alright, and no he doesn’t want to leave the room. And the lady continues talking, and she says something about it not being very nice, and Zayn wants her to shut the fuck up, and bring out whatever of Liam’s belongings they’ve found. And she does, and it’s bad, because it is very much Liam’s Bordeaux t-shirt, and it’s covered in dried up blood and Zayn can’t feel his legs, and he falls to the ground, eyes rolling back into his head.

 

When Liam’s been missing fifty-six days, Zayn gets home from observation at the hospital and the police have arrested a man with no relation to Liam whatsoever, for the abduction and possible murder of Liam Payne. They’re still searching, because that downright prick, won’t say a word and just smiles, whenever they ask him about Liam.  
And Zayn can’t sleep, because he dreams about Liam crying and Liam being hurt and scared. He dreams about Liam being tortured and murdered, and calling out his, Zayn’s, name, but Zayn not hearing it, so Zayn can’t sleep. Instead he stays up, and inks Getting Him Back, permanently in his skin, because that is what he strives for, that is what he wants. And it’s hard work, when your eyes are so tired you almost can’t see, and your hands are shaking, it’s hard work indeed, but it’s worth it.  
And it’s December and people want them all to be happy and Christmas-y but Zayn just cries a lot, and wanders off, and management is pissed at him, for not listening to their orders, but Zayn can’t - he can’t be limited like that, when he hasn’t saved Liam yet, and he keeps calling him, and he keeps turning the events in his head, trying to figure out where he be. And he wakes up the other lads in the middle of the night, when he needs them to listen to a new theory, and there are a lot of theories in Zayn’s head and everyone else can see how skinny Zayn is getting, and how dark the circles under his eyes are, and Niall fears that Zayn might be going mental.

 

When Liam’s been missing sixty-one days, the day before Christmas, the arrested man confesses everything with a smile, except for where Liam’s corpse is, and Zayn feels his entire world collapse, while the last bit of hope leaves his body and he dies inside.

When Liam’s been missing in seventy days, January 1st, Zayn is sitting at the front row in a filled church. He’s sat between Niall and Louis, who are squeezing a hand each and Harry is sat next to Louis holding his hand, in both of his. And Nicole is finishing her speech, her voice a broken mess and tears streaming down her cheeks but with a sad and familiar smile on her lips, as she says “My brother was a brave and solicitous man. Don’t ever forget that.”  
And she gains applause, when she leaves the podium, and the Leona steps forward and the music starts playing and she’s singing like an absolute angel,  
“And I’d give up forever to touch you, ‘cause I know that you feel me somehow. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t want to go home tonight.”  
and it fucking hurts Zayn to know, that he messed it all up, never telling Liam how he felt. It fucking hurts to the point where it’s unbearable.  
“And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. And sooner or later it’s over; I just don’t wanna miss you tonight.”  
And he drops to his knees no longer carrying that the church is filled, he can’t bear it any longer. And he sobs violently, and he can’t stop. And soon there are arms wrapped around him, and he wants Harry or Louis or Niall to fuck off, but when a hand grabs his neck and pulls him closer, he opens his eyes, and he sees Andy, and Andy is crying and he’s holding Zayn, because that’s the right thing to do. And Zayn forgets about pride and stupidity, and he grabs Andy as well, and they hold on to each other for dear life, because Andy has lost a best friend and Zayn the person he loved the most, and for proud boys that fucking hurts.  
And Leona keeps singing a bit longer than supposed, and when she ends the song, Zayn and Andy are back in their seats again.  
“I just want you to know who I am. I just want you to know who I am. I just want you to know who I am.”  
And Harry gets up, followed by Louis, Zayn, Niall, Maz and Andy; and Zayn’s entire body is shaking, when all of them grabs the handles of the coffin, and Maz silently counts to three, before they lift it up. And it’s way, way too light, because Zayn failed in bringing Liam back, so Liam’s alone somewhere, and not inside the hauntingly beautiful coffin, surrounded by friends and family.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be greatly appreciated!


End file.
